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A mii-haa, if I understand it right, could be a girl with a crush on Doumiyouji - a romantic comic-book character also known as Daoming Si - a grown woman mad about F4 or a grandma crazy about Bae Yong Joon. To many members of the media, she is just another fanatic and the object of her fanaticism, just another heartthrob. They will tell you about this woman who became a full-time F4 stalker at the expense of her marriage or that woman who claimed to have been cured of her menopause by Yon-sama. But scarcely do they try to make sense of what is in fact a force of pop culture.

Which is why what my writer friend, Ms Shimamura, is doing is important. Ms Shimamura, author of such books as All Women Are Mii-Haa!, is writing a book on auntie fans titled Romantic Virus. There are no English translations of her books - yet - but here is a translation of her column for Kyodo News.

Arrival of the Romantic Virus

“Attack of the Auntie Brigade!”

This spring, this headline appeared in a Singapore newspaper. Approximately one thousand middle-aged women crowded Changi Airport when Yon-sama aka Bae Yong Joon made his visit. So the Yon-sama phenomenon, which set the record for the highest number of waiting fans in the history of Narita Airport, is not confined to Japan.

So far, there has been transnational fan movement in East Asia and Southeast Asia for Hong Kong actors, Johnnys and so on. But considering the fact that the Yon-sama phenomenon spawned a great number of virgin auntie fans (a Singapore newspaper’s term) who became groupies for the first time at middle age, Yon-sama deserves special note.

Why?

Firstly, Yon-sama made his debut on TV. The Madams did not need to make their way to the cinema or concert hall. From the first, they could enjoy Yon-sama in the comfort of their own homes. His shows were telecast over, and over again. Hong Kong stars who debuted in Japan through the movies could not boast the same.

Further, Yon-sama and the Korean Wave are part of a national project. Once Mr Bae became a hit with Madams in different parts of Asia, other actors would be shipped in, one after another; heartthrobs would become a national export. The explosive popularity of Winter Sonata was only possible because of the effort and support of the national tourism organisation and other government bodies.

In Japan’s case, the way had already been paved. We had girls’ comics and “junior novels”, and one of the world’s most developed fan media, consisting magazines, star photographs, pictorial books et cetera. Mii-haa-friendly soil was there from the beginning.

Objects of the Madams’ fanatic passion, such as Tama (Saburou)-sama and Sugi (Ryotaro)-sama, have always existed. Matsuken (Matsudaira Ken) is still in the game. The Kabuki Theatre, Kokugi-kan (sumo stadium) and the Koma Theatre – each generation is already provided with a corresponding centre of fandom. What’s more, compared to the couple-centred societies of Europe and the US, Japanese society is more tolerant of women herding together to entertain themselves.

Perhaps the Yon-sama Madams wished to avoid the traditional “auntie course”. They wanted to go wild over something, but not in the senior citizen seats. Hikawa Kiyoshi was not bad, but he lacked sophistication.

It was then that Yon-sama - sweet, soft, and old-fashioned in the right degree – appeared. That there was only the faintest whiff of sex about him was a bonus for the Madams. Yes… With him, one could most safely swoon. They want their hearts to flutter, no matter what age they are. If only in fantasy, they want to be loved by, and to fall under the spell of, a young, handsome man.

It was to that breeding ground in Madams that Yon-sama arrived with the force equivalent, if you will pardon the comparison, to Sars - a romantic virus of unprecedented scale.

And the time was ripe with just the right nutrients for its growth. Many of the Madams have a small fortune. They can fly often to Korea with ease. The population continues to age and the birth rate to fall. They have a lot of time ahead of them. The necessity for pastimes grows more acute. If they aren’t into something, they can’t go on.

They start attending Further Education School overseas at middle, or early old age, saying, “I started Korean lessons after seeing Winter Sonata.” The Yon-sama boom overlaps with the hobby kingdom’s (Japan’s) style.

One could easily diagnose this as a lack of fulfilment in one’s personal life and an attempt to escape from the anxieties of ageing. But once you are infected with the Romantic Virus, there is no going back. That is where the merits and demerits of Yon-sama lie.

Most of the Madams who awoke to “fanhood” through Yon-sama had no immunity to the virus, and for that reason, their fuss was conspicuous. You would expect them to regain their self-possession when they develop an immunity, but no. They will inevitably seek to swoon in deeper, and more varied, ways. As a mii-haa of 40 years who had too strong an immunity to lose her head over Yon-sama, I can say that with certainty.

There is no need to look at the extension of the FTA to conclude that the exchange of human resources and commodities in the Asian region is increasing. I wouldn’t be surprised if new viruses continued to be discovered. This time, will they come from Thailand, or Vietnam?

BROWN RICE DIARIES | Chapter Five

When you're a psycho, your life is lonely and that's how you like it. You enjoy your uniquely psychotic existence. (Have you heard of a stalkers' society or a fellowship of brown rice?)

Alas, have been discovering to my disappointment that I am not alone. Met my JC comrades at a wedding tonight and one of them, Mr Tan, now gets out of bed at 5am - 5am! - on weekdays to work out, then cook the brown rice, greens and chicken breast to be taken to work. Not that I should be surprised. Mr Tan has always been a fascinatingly focused person. He was a straight A student who did his homework on the bus; he would work his way through a physics tutorial paper in pencil and his answers would be correct but so concise that only he understood them and no one could copy them. He has known his wife since he was 14; they have been together for 15 years - 15 years! - and now have two children. And he has always been on a gym-rat low-fat diet; but then it was white rice, egg white, greens and chicken breast every day and now it is brown rice, et cetera.

Then there is Ms L. We travelled together to Seoul on a junket months ago, found a fabulous mall there that opens at 10.30am and closes at 5am, spent hours shopping together and got on fabulously. I meant to talk to her more after the junket. We did not have a chance to chat, however, until the other day, when I saw someone a few steps ahead in a baby doll top similar to the one I got in Seoul. It had to be her. So I caught up with her and soon we were catching up. But before I could tell her about my recent yoga-and-brown-rice regimen - she told me all about hers.

"I've taken up yoga, it's been four months," she told me - I wanted to tell her that so had I but she went - "Lost 7kg leh, I didn't know you could lose that much weight from taking up yoga" - I could not say the same for myself so I went, "Wow," and she said - "I practised every day" - I wanted to tell her that so did I, um, on the days when I woke up early enough, but she went - "Two hours every day till I lost too much weight leh, now it's one hour every day." And she does the brown rice thing, too.

Next to the two of them, I'm a loser psycho.

Taiwan Idol

Taiwanese are bastards but they are more adorable; Hong Kongers are trickier; Singaporeans are dumber; Chinese are more unfathomable - Li Ao, Harbin-born Taipei-based author-politician, after his tour of the mainland

When Li Ao scolds someone on his TV show, it's a spectator sport. He does not so much cross the line separating what you may say from what you may not say as vault way over it. When he calls past and present Taiwan presidents names like wang ba dan (turtle spawn), the right response is something between a gasp and a giggle. Then you wait for the best bit: the bit when, armed with articles, books and anecdotes, he spells out why so-and-so is a moron or worse, a moral midget.

But he is much more than a madman of letters who barks at presidents period. His bite is actually as bad as his bark. He is a bad boy who delights in getting the better of any government. In his own words, a hen jiao se (ruthless character).

Once, one of his homes in a certain county - say County A - was raided by the police for banned books when he was out of town, or so the story goes. The smarty-pants policemen, mindful of how lawyer-happy he was, actually made a recording of their raid as proof that they did not make a mess of his home. But they were not smart enough. Apparently, by Taiwan law, the Taiwan equal of a resident's committee representative has to be present at a raid if a homeowner isn't. As Li Ao pointed out to the police, their recording was actually proof of their illegal raid. They had burned his books by then, so he asked them to compensate him. But they hemmed and hawed.

Meanwhile, in County B, a policeman had seized a Li Ao book from a shop in the belief that the volume was banned. But he had the wrong book. So his superiors, all apologetic, invited Li Ao to tea. They told the policeman to say sorry to Li Ao. They told Li Ao they had demoted the policeman. They thought, "What more would Li Ao want?"

He said, "I want one dollar." So one of them started to fish out a dollar note, but he stopped them, saying, "No, no, no. I want it official. I want a treasury note." So they had to mail it to him: a one-dollar treasury note.

What was on his mind was the story of the Qing Dynasty scholar who once was jailed. It was standard prison procedure then that wardens would supplement their income by beating up a new inmate for a bribe. The scholar, being an understanding man, could see why they would want to beat up a rich inmate. But he could not bear to see them beat up a poor inmate. So he had to ask a warden, "What do you get from beating up a man who has nothing to give?" The warden said: "Sir, you know not how it is. If poor men are not beaten up, rich men will pretend to be poor."

Li Ao had gone out of his way to get his $1 treasury note from County B, to send a message to County A. They got his message - and coughed up tens of thousands of dollars as compensation. He's my hero.