Sunday, December 30, 2007

At our wits’ end at the year-end

Friday, 10amish. The very dead deadline for my Best & Worst 2007 Western and Eastern entertainment wraps is dusk; I am very brain-dead; I have warned a sub that my stories might be very late and she has warned me that she might have to kill me. Clock is ticking. Brain is deading. I have to complain to someone.
“I don’t know how to write! How to Best & Worst gossip? What’s good gossip what’s bad gossip it’s either exciting gossip or boring gossip what! What five Bests what three Worsts everything is the worst what!”
“Have you told Meigao?” (Meigao is Ms M’s Mandarinised nickname for the ed.)
“Can’t be bothered.”
“I love your attitude.”

Friday, 4pmish. Ms H and I are worrying about other people’s wraps when I should be writing mine.
harry potter not in book wrap!
i know, i know. n lust caution not in film wrap!
sicko, death proof, were they even shown in sg. no 881! but sam has it in his music wrap
sam is good. but alamak. book wrap no harry potter. film wrap no lust caution. wheres the zeitgeist? talk to dt?
i cant get through to him
i try?

“Eh eh eh I kaypoh ah. Your best-movie wrap…Sicko and Death Whatever shown here meh?”
“Yes they opened here lah.”
“Meh? One week? Two days? Your list sounds like you hid in your home and saw lots of ang mor DVDs leh.”
“No they opened here lah.”
“Okay.” (Ms H was right. You can’t get through to DT.)
i tried. he said they were shown. shall i say something to the supes casually?
no need. put them in ur ent wrap so i can put them in my preamble? u can save the paper from irrelevance!
i try i try


Friday, 7pmish. My stories have gone to Meigao. The worst has come to the worst.
“Are you saying Anna Nicole Smith’s death is a good thing? I’m not comfortable with it.”
“Well, in death, she won? Front-page treatment, thoughtful essays, she got an Economist obituary, remember? XY wrote about that? In Culture Vulture?”
“Don’t remember…I’m not comfortable with it.”
“Er” (eating my words and my attitude) “what’s the Best gossip? What’s the Worst gossip? Best to whom? Worst to whom? Paris Hilton in jail, I turned that into a good thing, should that be turned into a bad thing now? We don’t have enough Bests.”
“One year and there are not enough Bests?”
“Er. Britney is not a Best? Lindsay, is that a Best? Amy Winehouse, is that a Best?”
“No. Amy Winehouse is bad. ……… Do celeb babies?”
“Er. No one new was born this year?”
“Do celeb babies.”
“Okay.” (Relevance shrelevance. Hey I only work here okay?)

Today, 8amish. The clouds of sleep are clearing and I think I hear… “Eh I saw three of the five best movies leh,” Fei is saying somewhere in the house. (He is up? Who else is up?) So DT has made Fei’s day with his fanboy’s wrap; I can’t complain about that; my mind hazes over with more sleep.

2 comments:

Manic Mummy said...

This post is super! Makes me want to laugh (not at your misfortune, of course, never at).

precious said...

so does it make you NOT miss work? or does it make you miss work - and the fun of bitching up a big storm?

and yes let's Bei Pan together. and sing it happily! or try to anyway.