The sister hen diaries

Out of the blue Fei calls, “Eh be my MC leh.” I was brought up to believe in magic, particularly in my mother’s magic: When you truly want to do something impossible for somebody you love you can – you just can. So if Fei wants me to be his MC, the magical doctor’s document that frees him from work, I have to be it somehow – how? “Your MC?”

“My MC, my wedding MC.” Right, sitting in an eatery with my mother, whose days and nights have for a year revolved round trying on dresses, jewels, heels and hairdos for that day and that night, I should have known. “’Kay, let’s talk when we get home,” I say and in the same breath I update my mother, “Your son wants Bak and me to be the MCs.” “Bak and you? Well, why not Bak and A?” Well, why not me? I can. I am the master of making all the right noises, I have the dress for it…two dresses, actually…and I could sing…I shouldn’t, actually, but…

As it transpires, Fei is telepathic. Over breakfast the next morning he is updating me on how he phoned Bak’s girl, A, and asked them to be the MCs and she unhesitatingly said yes. Which was when he asked her to call Bak in Atlanta and tell him it had been decided he would be her co-MC. Which she did. Which was when Bak – he who is careful with his money and never ever calls home except on Skype – picked up the phone and called Fei in a fluster, “Cannot lah cannot lah – I’m getting on a Panama cruise ship now, getting on – cannot lah cannot lah –”

But we know, and Bak knows, he isn’t getting out of it. He who says no to his kin does not say no to his girl, as Feicius says. A cunning man my brother is.

My parents are all for it certainly. My father, a fan of A’s polite Mandarin and perfect Taiwan manners, says she would be a good MC; my mother says she is a better choice; and I can’t say I am not disappointed, although I do admire the beauty of Fei’s strategy. I would have been okay, if less world-class than A. Isn’t it better to keep it in the family? “You are the older sister,” they say. Yes I am and isn’t Bak the younger brother? “The older sister shouldn’t be on stage.”

Right, the old spinster shouldn’t be on show. She should be protected. I hear them. I have an ear for the things they don’t say. Do they hear the things I don’t say though? A isn’t family yet. She might not be. Who is protecting her from memories she might not want one day…?

Well, we will just have to hope for the best. That, and roast pig that rocks our socks off.